I'll be okay

2012-02-15T11:16:00.001+08:00

So I never really got about blogging about Laneway '12.
Saw tons of familiar faces naw I was kidding.
Came just in time to catch The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart, Toro Y Moi, FEIST, Laura Marling, The Horrors & M83.
I came for Feist and M83 but the other bands were pretty good I have to say, especially Toro Y Moi.
The crowd was pretty dead not until M83.
M83 was just way beyond words, they were so fucking rad!!!!! Especially when they played my favorite songs!!! Midnight City, Reunion, Kim&Jessie and We Own The Sky, they were too fucking awesome!!!!!!!!!

The next few days, it was all study sessions and a day of force vomit and a late night call, and happy moments.
I'm sleepy.
Still sleepy. Okbye

2012-02-15T03:10:00.001+08:00

I will pledge to not rush into anything.
I will pledge to continue keeping my heart guarded.
I will pledge to not anyone break these walls just yet.

So it was Valentines'
I've probably only gotten one gift for valentines' my entire life. Besides the one classmates give and stuff that is.
So it's 309am and I have a smile stamped on my face.
I shall go play Parking Mania until I get sleepy :>

2012-02-14T11:30:00.000+08:00

I don't know what to feel. Whether to be happy or confused.
I mean I am really contented but I don't want history to repeat all over again.
I can never be too sure.

But it feels different this time.
Help me somebardiiiiiiii

2012-02-13T02:12:00.001+08:00

Laneway 2012 was wonderful.
Will blog abt it when I wake up.
212am, Goodnaite x

2012-02-11T13:28:00.000+08:00

spread some love

2012-02-11T11:00:00.001+08:00

I've been smiling a lot these days.
It feels like I'm reliving a moment last year.
Which is a good thing.
I know I will have to be careful on this one, especially this one.
But for now, let me just stay happy and keep on smiling.
Because right now, that's exactly what I need.
I feel happy and giggly.

I better get up and start my day now.
We don't want a wasted day now do we?

2012-02-09T22:04:00.003+08:00

You didn't deserve my tears, my time, my love, you deserve nothing of me.
Most importantly you didn't deserve my forgiveness, But I gave it to you.
Think like how a person with a motherfucking heart and brain would.

2012-02-08T23:05:00.001+08:00

Somebody needs to kick that douchebag's nuts for me. Fucking aching heart again what the fuck. Common test was one motherfucker then I had to go through a crying session and then an awkward moment w/ Mintoromero eh tepuk tangan buat Atikah.

Hais......
Well at least the moon is so fucking pretty today and I've got the best of friends by my side and lava cake.

I need to fix myself seriously

2012-02-07T22:21:00.000+08:00

People need to learn to indirect tweet with skills.

2012-02-07T18:26:00.001+08:00

Just got home from a short study session w/ Abdul Qayyum @ SP then he had to attend Capoiera. Decided to go straight home because this fever has not subsided and this nose feels like a running tap.

Heart still feels asdfghjkl
x

2012-02-06T08:30:00.001+08:00

Well guess what, I have feelings too.
It's fucking aching so do you mind?

2012-02-05T00:14:00.001+08:00

Mmmmm that's me

2012-02-04T22:53:00.000+08:00

My heart is still an aching mess.
Oh well........ What is my life.

Need to divert my mind from all this bullshit or hanging out and start focusing.
Common tests are this coming week and semestral exams soon, I need to stop wasting my time on things that can't help in my studies.
Studies first, everything comes later on.......

Last night/This afternoon was my islamic birthday.
And tonight, Selamat Maulidur Rasul.

Attended Nidia's 18th Birthday Picnic.
Had a really good day.

Let's switch off feelings.
x

2012-02-03T12:02:00.001+08:00

How does it feel to still feel like your heart got ripped apart and is being put into a fire? If you do know, then that's how mine feels right now.

2012-02-02T00:44:00.000+08:00

Ummmmmmm harluz

So those are mah Doc Martens High Cuts!!!!!!

ok just had to.....

and a few cute pictures....

How chu think?

We pretty naw?

k mai mai x

2012-02-01T10:21:00.001+08:00

I dreamt of a friend in an absolutely meaningless dream. Is it true that when you dream of someone, that person misses you? No? Ok.

Yesterday I had a blogshop meeting w/ Zakiah. Lol no kidding we were just hanging out and did some blogshop thing hurhur.

Ok I actually need to go get ready now and meet Frh ok bai mwah <3

Is anybody out there

2012-01-30T23:52:00.000+08:00

I rly don't know what I would do without my bestfriend.

He always has the right things to say and make everything look brighter.

So today wasn't a good day.

Well I did play pool for the first time in my 17 years of living though!

But I had A to keep on guiding me and I totally suck at it.

No wait I was good for a first timer ok!

But yes besides that..............

I felt like utter shit.

So here are happy pictures for you.

My cupcakes are pretty

So are my girls and my teal streak.

goodnight x

2012-01-29T11:48:00.001+08:00

There are so many things I am not ready to face in another relationship and people have to understand that. Don't push it.

hi I got myself another pair of doc martens hurhur and I had an wandarful time w/ my girls Atiqah Zin and Nidia Marissa yesterday at Oakham Market. <3

2012-01-26T23:50:00.002+08:00

How do I trust

2012-01-25T23:33:00.001+08:00

Had a lovely no school day today.
Ice cream date in the early part of the day w/ my gurl, Farah Firzanah @ Softserve DTE and then Udders @ Siglap. Which after we got ourselves 2for6bux hairbows from Topshop T1.
Met Zakiah, Qayyum and Luqman for supposedly dinner which I didn't eat and then had frolick, money burnt sigh and then macs.

Zakiah though, decided it was a brilliant idea to text Mintot and I think that was the stupidest thing ever. Felt like you acted like I didn't fucking matter in the conversation, you know? Yeah but wtv rlly fyl idc anymore. No fucking substance.

Photos up soon x

2012-01-25T01:00:00.001+08:00

YOU HAVE TO AGREE WITH ME THAT ALL THESE DOC MARTENS

ARE INSANELY SICK............

IT IS ALL TOO FUCKING GORGEOUS I NEED TO OWN THEM.

OUT OF THIS FIVE, FOUR OF THEM ARE DIY DESIGNS.

WHAT ARE THEY, FUCKING GENIUSES?

AND THE OIL SLICK ONE COSTS 270BUX TO BE SHIPPED HERE.

SIGH I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO BUY.

IN MY HEAD IS JUST THIS CRAZY WORLD FULL OF THINGS

THAT I WANT TO WEAR.

This skirt is tempting the shit out of me too.......

But it's thirty frikkin bux.

Ah that's it.

I am opening up a blogshop to fund myself.

I can't take it........

Give me 48-72 hours and you might just see a blogshop advert here.

NO SCH TOMORROW

(technically today, but it only makes sense to me to call it tomorrow since I haven't gone to bed yet)

depression over

2012-01-24T13:25:00.001+08:00

Sometimes hearing myself say things out loud............
The things coming out from my mouth, yeah they sound stupid.

2012-01-23T23:22:00.000+08:00

I don't know if you guys can actually see it but yes this was the highlight of my day.
Read from the bottom of the top left picture moving to the top then to the top right from the bottom and so on.......
My friends are crazy.........
It all started when Zakiah commented on the photo album of Me and Shafique on his profile which said "Kahwin suda Ika Shamsuddin" (which means "Just get married Ika Shamsuddin")
Never in my whole 17 years have I ever thought of being together with my bestfriend.
That's just awkward and weird and everything else wrong.
And never will I risk my perfect friendship with Shaf for a relationship.
Eeeyerrrr hahahaha but yes I knw we wld be a perfect couple #justsayin' HAHAHAHAHA

my friends are so cute.......
I think.

2012-01-23T03:30:00.001+08:00

AHHH my lips.........
Anw yup I wore my new top out and I lahv it.

Ok I rlly need to get some sleep nanight xx

2012-01-23T03:24:00.001+08:00

So hi......
Pretty unsure if I like my new layout or not.....
I think its the colors, ok I rlly dont know.

So it's 3am now,
Everyone's asleep but its CNY so I can hear the sound of mahjong so clearly coming from the opp block.

Had a really amazing family time @ Wak's Place at Johor.
His house is so gorgeous ugh I wld kill to have such a pretty home.
Had a BBQ session, w/ Ribs, Stingray, Honey Chicken, Prawns etc.
Didn't eat much though cause the smoke was stinging my eyes so it was pretty disturbing.
Mummy (Wak's wife) even prepared games and prizes! Haha!
It was supposed to be intended for the kids but I guess it was even more fun if everyone took part in something..
And I won myself a pink stationery set for one of the games..
How nice.

Had a cake cutting session as well since Hazirah's birthday was the day before.
Had some Marshmallow Chocolate Cake from Secret Recipe. Mmmmm.
Had J.Co Donuts befre we headed to Wak's as well.
That is the frikkin life.
Held a gift exchange time as well and we got chocolates!!
Hahaha good enough, they're really nice!

Mummy set aside for us mercun as well!
Lit up Saturn Missiles, Rocket Fireworks, Fountain, Flying Spinners and the amazing 100plus shots one!!
Was looking forward to Saturday since weeks back because of the fireworks!!
Lit them up during Hari Raya and did them again yesterday!!
The feeling of excitement and pure beauty of it..... priceless.

Went off from there at about 1am and reached Singapore at 2 plus close to 3
because we sent Kak Ella back.
Went home and didn't bother to bathe, what more wash my hair so I changed and washed up a bit and headed straight for the bed.
Hair reeked the smell of the fireworks smoke and the BBQ smoke.
Totally gross but worth it.
Shampoo and conditioner didn't work this morning, my hair still stinks.

Had late lunch at ECP w/ the family today and it rained so heavily and the drains got clogged and there was this mini flood.
Won't be surprised if the country gets drowned, personally feel that the country is too small to hold so many things and the fact that we keep on reclaiming land.........
Ahhhh okay, I better get some sleep, yet again.

Happy holidays x

P.S What's the point of having me as a friend on facebook if you're not going to let me view your profile.
It's dumb, way beyond dumb. So don't ask me why you see the 'Add Friend' button the next time you try to view my profile.

2012-01-20T10:56:00.001+08:00

So I met A in school before I went for PED class and I followed him for his smoke break when M walked pass. Like it wasn't bad enough that me and M fought yesterday and like it wasn't bad enough how much we usually fight because of A. And there I was with A and he at the other side. That bugger A didn't make it any better too, told me to act like we were really back together. And told me that M needs to take up lessons with him on how to win my heart. He should just shut the fuck up HAHAHAHA.

There are some things I just have to keep to myself.

2012-01-20T01:41:00.001+08:00

Not really the strongest tonight with these tears but I'll be okay.

2012-01-20T01:37:00.001+08:00

Do you really think I'm not hurting?

2012-01-20T00:02:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I miss the comfort of having you around. 11 Months. I'm contented with what I have now. I don't need you, I just miss you.

2012-01-19T00:45:00.000+08:00

I need to start somewhere.
And I hope 2012 is going to help me turn myself into a better person.

2012-01-18T20:25:00.001+08:00

Hi that's my classmate creeping at the back hahahha oh such annoying kreetures

2012-01-18T17:01:00.001+08:00

Went to Capoiera performance @ Blackbox last night w/ Atiqah and it was amazingly entertaining!! So proud of Luqman and Qayyum. They performed so well and Qayyum is so flexible and he can dance so well haiya so talented fr what huh! At the end, the audience were able to take part and Luqman literally dragged me out, I almost fell! And I fail at it. Extremely failed at it. Hais Qayyum told me I will never get a boyfriend because I can't dance. Me is sad. But the 24bux were well spent eventhough I'm fully broke and only left w a few cents till friday.
Ohhh the boys repaired my watch for me!!!!!

Today was presentation day!! I felt so fuhrikkin tall in my wedges hehehe. Was late for presentation cus I woke up late but t'was alright overall so yes thankfully, it's over. Shall get home and study today since pancakes with the boys got cancelled cus they ditched me for Capoiera hehe no lah juz kidding I understand their love for Capoiera :>

2012-01-18T00:13:00.000+08:00

Skipped lecture today cause I was laaaaate.
Had A to accompany me harharhar
He changed but it is okay.

Skipped GSM as well but I made it to Luqman and Qayyum's Capoiera performance!
Shall update abt it tmrw I lahved it though
x

2012-01-16T22:22:00.001+08:00

I miss Zee

2012-01-16T20:24:00.001+08:00

So I went to get myself the lipstain today......
And I like it, but I love my sephora more. Sigh owhere are you?

Anyway, I'm taking up a job for two days during the Chinese New Year Holiday.
$9/hr, I can totally sponsor myself for Death Cab For Cutie then.
Pretty excited!!

Going broke this week. Having to pay Atiqah 25 bux back and 24 bux to Luqman/Qayyum's Capoiera performance @ The Blackbox tomorrow.
Waiting for Luqman to come down to my area to give me the tix and to get my watch back!!!!!!!

I've got a math test tomorrow and a formal presentation the next day. I can do this oyes I can.

x

2012-01-15T22:37:00.001+08:00

O M G Y O U N E E D T O T H R O W A W A Y Y O U R D O C M A R T E N S C A U S E I T I S N T M A D E F O R Y O U. HOLYCOW.

2012-01-15T20:16:00.001+08:00

Since I lost my sephora lipstick (though I rlly rlly rlly rlly rlly love it)
I have a feeling I lost it at home, either that or my sister took it because she used my baggu bag last.
I am intending to get a Revlon Just Bitten Lipstain.
The reviews seem promising to me so I hope it really does do wonders, at a cheaper price than my lipstick.

Soon I might just buy another sephora lipstick as well.
It was only a few weeks old and I probably have used it only like 5 times?
Sigh first world pains.

2012-01-15T17:41:00.001+08:00

It's going to be a year soon. I've been much stronger. And my heart's much colder. :')

2012-01-15T00:48:00.001+08:00

Page 15 of 366

That girl up there just had one of the best days of 2012.
Since late last year, all I have been wishing for was quality time with the parents. I used to have a lot of that in the middle of 2011. Always going for supper and what not together but then it suddenly stopped. I would cancel my plans to spend my time with them but we would end up minding our own business at home. I cry sometimes because the house felt different. So today, after so long, it was family time again. Eventhough now I feel like the only child, I love family time, I would trade anything in the world for comforting family time.

Went shopping with Mama and then Ayah joined halfway later. Mama spent some money on me and I got three tops from Zara! Hehe rlly happy for that and Mama rewarded herself with this really pretty wallet from Fossil and also bought an early birthday gift for the leap year boy, my dad. Mum bought stuff from H&M as well, so did Ayah.

We then had dinner @ Lau Pa Sat where we bumped into Paman Pat and family so we sat down and had a really good meal. I love family time, I love it so much. So today was a really good day I loved every bit of it :')

Ok goodnight xx

2012-01-14T12:55:00.001+08:00

Results were of both worlds. One A Two Bs One C and One F. I need to push my Mathematics and Quality Control to an A while my Organic Chemistry, to at least a D. Sigh so much to be done

2012-01-13T23:36:00.000+08:00

Met Shaf for early dinner after school at Bedok Macs and oh my god his Malay is so horrible.
Hahahaha but hais my buddy is so annoying.

Met Nidia after that but me no has pictures with me. I'm sorry I do not have a macbook to take lovely pictures.

I love being single so much. LAHV IT.

2012-01-12T22:51:00.001+08:00

2012-01-10T01:18:00.001+08:00

Poster still undone, eyes too watery from staring at this screen and I'm having a toothache. Sigh just let me sleep for a bit ok.

2012-01-09T19:24:00.001+08:00

Isamuddin made me the happiest girl on earth today hehehehe best neighbor for eber! And thank god I didn't bump into that dominos rider cus I rly don't ever want to see him again :>

Today I feel that I've got no more feelings towards anyone. And by that I mean I feel numb. And not faded feelings. Owell I'm happy :3

2012-01-07T21:24:00.001+08:00

Is this amazing or just pure amazing?

2012-01-07T21:19:00.000+08:00

The trend now is to be a red head and everyone like basically everyone wants to go red.
But I have this obsession, like a crazy need to have teal streaks on my hair.
Or dip dye my hair teal............
Dipdye teal and have soft curls at the ends of my hair.
My biggest wish that will just never happen.

the closest picture I can get of what I want.

it's too pretty ):

2012-01-06T23:30:00.001+08:00

Out of 7days, I have spent time with Qayyum for 4 days and 3 of which is with Luqman as well while the other was with Atika and Zakiah. So tired of those boys' faces meh. Hahahhaa no I love them they're so annoying.

Sat on the comfy couch at frolick with the two while browsing through magazines and talking nonsense for hours.
Yes I like doing nothing.

And this Qayyum ah, he amazes me at how much and how fast he eats. I knw I can be a rlly slow eater but he can finish a whole double mc spicy meal upsized plus another mc chicken burger and I can still be on only my fries and a first bite of my burger. And he can still be hungry after that. It's amazing how he isn't fat :0

Ok I'm tired bye x

2012-01-06T14:29:00.001+08:00

Hppygirl

2012-01-04T23:49:00.001+08:00

I don't need douches, I only need my favorite people and that would make me perfectly fine.

2012-01-03T22:16:00.003+08:00

today was really fucked up.
extremely.
if only i can curl into a ball and cry myself to sleep right now.
but no I've got schwork to do.
fml

2012-01-03T00:29:00.001+08:00

It would be such a total breather if I could meet someone who would stick by me until I am whole again and not fucking leave just because I can't love someone else at the moment? Relationships aren't instant, if you can't be there for her through the bad, why must she share the good with you?

2012-01-02T17:02:00.001+08:00

In 2011 I've learnt to not say I miss you too no matter how much you do because you might end up getting hurt.

2012-01-02T12:30:00.000+08:00

2011:

It was no doubt a really tough year for me but I didn't really wanted it to end. It was a roller coaster ride for me and I just want to thank God for letting me live to see 2012. 2011 really taught me how to deal with emotions and feelings.

It's the year where I felt sweet hard earned money after all the hassle of finding a job and got myself a position under NafNaf for RSH Limited. That is when too I met Fatyn Andriana for lunch @ FEP every single working day and I am glad I got to know her. O Level results that made me shit in my pants well not literally at least. I mean who wouldn't cry when the first thing you see is a C5 for English and a D7 for Humanities? Though I am really thankful for those 16 points that got me into Biologics and Process Technology in Nanyang Polytechnic where I met such a great bunch of girls and got my first set of GPA results in the first semester. I don't think I can ever forget that I went through a rough patch after breaking up with the guy I love like I never loved before. After a year and a half months. The heartache, the constant texting, the sleepless nights, the nights where I cried myself to sleep. I however, appreciate every single person who was there to help me get back up, especially Mohamed Shafique. If without this best friend of mine, I might still be crying every single day. He was my pillar of strength for 2011 and I am so thankful for having him in my life. Had my hair dyed brown and made it grow so long which I am so proud of!!!!! This year was when a birthday outing made an ex boyfriend liked me back but instead I was more interested in making friends with his friend. Thank you Muhammad Muhaimin for being a part of my 2011, you were the wrong distraction but I will never forget how we talked for the first time and we sounded like we have known each other for so long. I will never forget that feeling, it was a breather from all the crying and hurt every night. I broke my concert virginity in 2011. First would be to my sexy Jung Ji Hoon. The Best 2011 Rain Asian Tour. Followed by Two Door Cinema Club which I had a photo with the attractive Alex Trimble and then Zee Avi Live @ TAB Singapore where we took photos/had signatures! Breath taking to be infront of the stage for both. Amazing concerts I will forever hold on tightly to. The year where a late afternoon math exam landed on my birthday but my beautiful friends were so sweet so as to celebrate it with me and I can never thank them enough because I haven't had a proper celebration in a very long time and it felt really nice. Thank you for the cake and the company that was so comforting. And here's to 2011 the year where I made new friends and lost some, the freedom I took advantage of, and the home that changed so much of me. I am thankful that I still have my family and friends by my side. And I hope all of this, would stay on forever.

2012-01-02T12:10:00.002+08:00

I'll type in a new 2011 post because the previous one wasn't a nice one. kbye

2012-01-02T10:19:00.001+08:00

Reality is what makes you.

2012-01-01T12:42:00.001+08:00

Eventhough my flea was an awful bust, I love the people who came down. Thank you Atiqah, Elisya, Farah, Shafique, Asyraf for making this flea happen.

Was supposed to watch the fireworks with Zakiah, Atika and my favorite boys but Qayyum got us girls in for the countdown @ the platform so I didn't get to spend my new year with my favorite boys! But I got to hug Zulhilmi and Rasyad whom I haven't seen in so long so that made it a good night! And it was a good night, fireworks with Mryjnz and Atika and also Qayyum. <3 <3

2012: I vow to not let Abdillah into my life even as my friend and fix myself.

Shall put up a 2011 post soon.

2011-12-31T01:21:00.002+08:00

I decided not to do the last thing I would regret before 2012 starts though it has been lingering in my head for days..............

Some things are better left unsaid.
Though this might just come off as a regret as well.

x

2011-12-31T01:18:00.002+08:00

I love sushi dates. Do you love sushi dates?

I just had a sushi date. I love my girls.

I didn't make any resolution in 2011.

So I decided to do one for 2012.

Simple. Fix myself.

One last thing before I go to sleep.

I'm having a booth @ a flea today.

Please do support this poor kitty.

Text/Fbchat me for details!!!!!!!

Love, me

2011-12-29T23:23:00.002+08:00

Onn another note,

I wish I was able to hv unlimited amt of cash to go on a shopping spree.

And I don't mean 5 or 6 new things at most but like 20.

Won't that be just wonderful.....

2011-12-29T15:44:00.000+08:00

Does any guy want to like um try and apply like a full face make up on my face?
Just to like you know, get the feel of how tough it is and why we take so long.
Lul this shit sounds interesting.
Was watching youtube vidoes on boyfriends/husbands doing it on their partners.
Any takers?

Hahahaha but no rlly I am serious.

x

2011-12-29T14:40:00.002+08:00

love, me.

2011-12-29T01:40:00.001+08:00

Cleaned my Facebook friend list again.
Mintoromero deleted off, along with his ~skate~ friends. I must be their #bahan this year. Wanted to just delete Hafique off too but I guess this will do. I thought well you were interesting, I mean hey, you skate, you listen to good songs, you're funny, you have Japanese blood fuck you for that by the way, you're amazing. Oh no wait, you were amazing. But right, you were that douche who went straight for one of my girls. Thanks for being a distraction and good luck mthrfckr I hope I don't ever bump into you thx

2011-12-27T23:20:00.001+08:00

Disappoints me every time when my girls cancel out on me at the very last minute or turns up a few hours late. Like meeting me can wait even when they're not even busy. I'm sorry I'm not interesting enough for you to just make an effort to spend some time. Sigh x

2011-12-27T23:14:00.001+08:00

Hurting feet. Feet is a funny word.

Did partial of my OC lab reports, might wake up earlier at 8 tmr morning to do some Semestral Project. The dumbest module this sem.

Felt like such an accomplished housewife for doing a lot of chores before I went out.

Helped Atiqah pick out clothes to sell for flea this sat > Met Nabil/Haziq/Asyraf @ Tmart and cabbed to RSH warehouse for
Vans Sale > Saw a really nice pair that I could fit but sigh I have too many shoes at home!!!!!!!!!! > Bused to Cathay > Trained to town > super upset with F21 for not having nice stuff fr me > Saw Haizad Imran at topman ion sigh y so handshumz > walked till my feet hurt but I managed to get a nice pair of pants frm H&M kids yay.

Realized my boys love to carry my bag for me because it's nice. HAHA hais so cute yknw.

So my brief summary of what happened today wasn't really brief but ah oh well.

I'm tired meh.
X

2011-12-27T10:27:00.000+08:00

Habit:
Get bored > Nothing in mind to do > Make myself do schoolwork instead > Get busy for 5 mins > Then suddenly get distracted with everything else in the world except schoolwork.

Does this happen to only me?

I am upz and I guess before I go out I need to clear some schoolwork and do the chores.
Busy week ahead.

2011-12-26T19:27:00.000+08:00

love, me

2011-12-26T18:55:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wonder who reads this space of mine.......
But oh hi hello thr.

hate my purple lips bye
x

2011-12-26T02:08:00.001+08:00

I'm sorry I am becoming so good at pushing the guys who are trying to enter this heart away.
Safeguard your heart before you feel the ache.

I feel awful for doing so but I guess it's for the better.
I don't want to be committed, just free, like a bird.

Furthermore, just save me from the emotional attachment
and all the tangled strings attached to being in love.
Save it for someone who is ready, and that person isn't me.

What I need is to focus on being happy for myself, not for someone else.
Just live independently, nobody gives a shit.

xx

2011-12-24T19:53:00.003+08:00

Back from the short getaway.

Johor premium outlet sucks.

I miss the birthday boy okbye

2011-12-22T01:39:00.002+08:00

I think I probably need this holiday more than I thought I would.

So see you soon.

2011-12-21T00:27:00.001+08:00

My form of attractive.
Mmm yes.

2011-12-21T00:07:00.001+08:00

Really liking the new blogger interface. How can I not love blogger?

Sigh.Haven't updated a proper pot in a while now.

Going JB for the new premium outlet which has Cotton On, DKNY, Gap and stuffs in two days!Hope the Pulai Springs Resort Hotel is as pretty as in pictures ok I am so stoked!
Going to have a sushi date with Shikin and hopefully Ain on the 30th and holding a flea booth on the 31st!Bestest news this week would be that I am going to Okinawa Japan in March with my course!And all of my clique are chosen to go too, how can I not be happy today?!

Last week was pretty alright, every common test was alright except for Organic Chem, but let me jst enjoy my holidays before I worry about that.

Went out w Shaf on one of the days for pancakes and he signed up for an OCBC Frank card and I'm jelly! The designs were so pretty and I fell in love with one. It was free except for the design fee but I am foreverbroke, why would I need a debit card.... And he even wanted to pay for me hais that boy.

Too pretty. My eyes were so set on the fourth one though, sigh, it's okay, I don't need a debit card. Shaf wanted to get me a smiggles watch too but I said no. He doesn't mind splurging on me I hate it.

Things I really want/need right now....

1) Maniac Long Wearing Lipstick in watermelon rose cream from Sephora ($20)

Because so many people have asked me about how purple my lips are and they would link it to smoking.So sick of having to tell them I have had purple lips since forever! So I need a god damn lipstick. And I tried it on the other day and I love it more than the topshop one that I tried.

2) A plain black maxi dress/skirt.

Been wanting one for so long but I just never got about getting it.Maxi skirt at topshop is too pricey for just a plain long black skirt. Hoping to see one somewhere soon of a pretty good price for this princess who is foreverbroke.

3) Double Button Up in Green from F21
Ugh do you know how difficult it is to find this in SG? Of the perfect colour tone and cutting???I saw a perfect one online but it was from Jil Sander which obviously is over budget....But what I really like about it is the collar, the sharp collar, sigh so pretty.

4) Uniqlo Denim Leggings

I absolutely love uniqlo denim leggings over any other jeans just because its extremely comfortable.And they're on freaking sale now but I am so god damn broke it is so sad. Sigh I feel like a sad kid.

5) Far off from my budget but I want a camera.
Preferably a Powershot S100 or the new Nikon 1 (!!!!!!)

I've seen the quality for the Powershot and the Nikon1 is too yummy ugh. Plus I don't rlly want heavy bulky DSLRs since I am no pro photographer!

6) Blackberry Bold 9900.
This is supposed to be on the top of my list but I a too lazy to edit this post so yes. Ugh so pretty meow.

Just too pretty to handle, might seriously get it once my contract ends next May!

Yeah ok that's about it I guess, I have too much bags/shoes.

Eventhough I don't celebrate Christmas, can you just give me Christmas presents? Sigh ok xx.

2011-12-19T17:19:00.001+08:00

I've lost you once I think I can do it again. 10 Months.

2011-12-19T13:49:00.001+08:00

Pet peeve: People who annoy me and when they think it's funny but really, not even close. Or just people who annoy me in general.

2011-12-15T11:40:00.001+08:00

I wonder how it feels like to be someone's very best or someone one can't forget.

2011-12-12T15:29:00.001+08:00

Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?

2011-12-12T03:44:00.001+08:00

343am. Went to sleep crying and I woke up from my a dream crying, so fucking badly. Now I feel like a total failure. Goodnight. I hope I feel better in two hours.

2011-12-11T23:40:00.001+08:00

I am a mess my mind is in a mess I have a test tomorrow and I feel like crap. Utter bull shit. How am I going to pull through? I don't fucking know. Sucks to be me right now.

2011-12-10T03:59:00.001+08:00

4am going to bed after a good few hours of productive biochemical science. Chose to study over sleep which one, is so tempting because of the wandarfool wedarr (wonderful weather) and two, my complexion is getting way worse, staying up wld make it deteriorate like mad.
It took so much of me to actually get out of bed from my nap to go and study. But if I don't start now, I wld suffer. Have to rlly wake up my belardy eyedeyah. K full of bullshit time to sleep bye

2011-12-09T00:54:00.001+08:00

I'm trying to find myself but how do you look for something when you don't know what you're looking for?

2011-12-08T02:27:00.001+08:00

Everyone proves exactly my point. That I have a reason to be afraid, to be scared. I need to breathe.

2011-12-04T01:07:00.001+08:00

I need to stop feeling broken especially on bleeding days.

I fucking hate all these emotions that I thought was long gone.

Suck it up just suck it up will you

2011-11-29T00:38:00.001+08:00

Le bestfriend became my craving saver of my weeks of donut craving! Dunkin Donuts > Topman Ion whr he couldn't find the jeans he wanted and didn't knw ths thing called asking > Topman Knightsbridge whr he found a nice pair of jeans and wasted his money away (he saw a bow tie and purposely reminded me of the ex tsk) > Cineleisure Rockstar whr he got himself (and me) a baggu! Hehehe > Cityhall fr dinner at Burger King together with Ian and Ben > Home Sweet Home.

He gave me his Fred Perry wallet that he wasn't using anymr hehe I luv it. Feel so bad that I don't spend a single cent whenever I'm out with him :/
Hais luv tht zayn malik.

And people need to stop mistaking him for my boyfriend. K gdnght xx

2011-11-28T04:17:00.001+08:00

The people you want and need in your life always leave while the opposite constantly tries to find a space in your heart and in your life. Why?

2011-11-21T00:36:00.001+08:00

All I know now is that I will never be good enough. For anyone. Never going to be enough. Goodnight xx

2011-11-20T12:09:00.001+08:00

Please, by all means, enjoy your downfall.

2011-11-20T10:54:00.001+08:00

Finally pleased that now I feel like my past isn't haunting me. What I mean by that is I didn't see A the whole week this week *jumps around*

Had a really good Friday.
In school: Heavy lunch/Slept in the library before lecture/chocolate perks/boring PED lecture/draining brain cells lecture and then I met up with le bestfriend.

Met Shafique at the platform of yck and I even showed him the foreverhandsome boy in my school. He was sitting infront of me throughout the mrt ride and he stood infront of me at the escalator at Orchard. Hehehe I am a spaz.
Main plan was to hv pancakes but he was too hungry for 'proper food' so we had a change of plans to go have burger king and then donuts. And we scrapped off donuts because he stuffed me with so much food at burger king. That boy really wants me to gain weight >:(
Walked around from topman to fred perry then all the way to cathay and then orchard central and finally we sat at Coffee Bean. Took too many photobooth pictures hehhehehe and tons of my own self obsessed photos HEHEHEH.
Good Friday night spent :>

Yesterday was the most unproductive day but I had a good Saturday. Met up with Atqh after her drum class and I wanted donuts but there was any place to sit and hang so we had dinner first at pastamania. But our hang out plan turned to shopping. Why am I not surprised, really. We do that everytime we meet. I got myself a no degree specs and spent money on food. Heh heh while she got herself a whole lot of things. After so much walking, we hanged out for a bit at macs and then went home.

I need to clean the house today, like fo real. Parents coming back from Bandung today and mui room is a mess! K bye xx

2011-11-17T23:35:00.001+08:00

Something isn't right when all you want to listen at midnight is Adele's 21 Album.

2011-11-17T19:39:00.001+08:00

In another life, I would make you stay, so I don't have to say that you were the one that got away.

2011-11-15T01:44:00.001+08:00

Uuwaaaah I look so tired.

Though I had a rough mornight, I could put up a genuine smile because I'm so blessed to have the support from my friends. And how they're all proud of me being this strong, standing strong without him.

There's a quote which goes "Just because the past taps you on the shoulder, doesn’t mean you have to look back."

Slept at 4am doing my reports today and it's almost 2am now, I'm really exhausted. I couldn't even stay awake during my math lecture. Thank God for additional mathematics during secondary school that now I don't have to struggle so much. Met Luqman after school at town and caught up with each other's lives. We had a heart to heart talk while having dinner. Went home at around 9. Did revision till now.....

Not gonna have enough sleep again tonight. I can afford to sleep but I don't wish to because I don't want to lose momentum and cut some slack. I really need to back up this semester!

Goodnight.
xx

2011-11-14T01:06:00.003+08:00

It's 1am and I cried a few minutes ago out of anger.

No one has really made me this angry. No one has ever made me sad, disappointed at its peak except you. You left for nine months, when we were together, I tried to hold the pieces of our relationship, many times have I wanted to just let go and give up on you but I didn't. I was constantly there for you. You come in and out of my life so many times, have you ever thought of that? No you didn't. Think of what you did to me, and don't fucking tell me after 9 months, that I cheated on you. Fuck no.

In a relationship, there's this thing called trust, communication and love. But sadly ours had none of that. I for one do not take relationships as a test, where I resort to cheating. You were the main cause of everything, keep that in mind.

Look yourself in the mirror, are you all that?

I am afraid not. So get a grip of yourself will you.

2011-11-13T02:42:00.001+08:00

I know I'm either keeping things in or I just become blatant and sometimes the things I say are 'in your face' comments. Some things I can put up with and some I just can't. I think everybody feels that way.

I know sometimes it gets to people that I may sound like I'm so full of myself and that I never take heed of the good things people are trying to tell me...... But idk, maybe it's just the tone they use to convey the message. Which becomes like a command. And that irks me.

I appreciate your thought for a friend, but just not that way. And I sincerely hope you don't get misunderstood.

2011-11-13T00:55:00.002+08:00

Feelings. Sometimes they fuck you up.

And right now, all I want is just a big hug.

Idek what's going through my head right now.

Utter bullshit at this hour.

Oh and I've created a personal blog.

Mmm yes.

2011-11-11T01:13:00.003+08:00

did chu guys realise yesterday (technically the day before) was the 9th? It totally slipped my mind! Mehehehe 9 months of being single, pretty happy about it ^-^

So many things on my to-do list, so many tests coming up, so much catching up to do, so many reports to be done. But for now, it's safe to say that I am done with whatever that is due tomorrow. Shall start studying tonight! Semester 2 is really going real fast and real crazy!

I have discussion at 8am with Sharon ltr on, I better get whatever that needs to be done and sleep or I'll be a zombie ltr with school till 5pm!

2011-11-10T11:01:00.001+08:00

Because I know this may sound crazy or selfish or… like I’m living in the past or something. But you were the love of my life. I don’t know, I just thought I was yours too.

2011-11-10T02:12:00.001+08:00

Mathematics has got to be a favorite subject once you come to poly because it's the easiest subject to score! I used to hate mathematics, what more additional mathematics! But it's like such joy to be doing math when I got into poly!

Partially done with my Biochem. Z stayed up with me to just keep me company. 0208am, I need my sleep! My head hurts alrd. Shall wake up early to clean my room also known as this pig's stye. My room is in the messiest state ever..........

And my hands are itching to shop spend shop. My sister thinks I've gone mad. That's how bad I want to go shopping! I can't go on without a day off of blogshops! I must be going insane. Oh programme 2, slow/calm down will you?

xx

2011-11-10T00:12:00.002+08:00

EXTREMELY DEPRESSED OVER MY COMPLEXION

Its 1213am and I am not asleep. I've got loads of school work to do...............

Meh.

bye

2011-11-07T23:57:00.001+08:00

I want to fall in love and be happy. But even that scares me.

Woke up at 7am today and visited arwah yayi and nenek's grave. Felt more at ease though out the day except for the phase in between still being awake and close to bedtime.... When you're lying down on your bed, laptop switched off, phone charging, lights out, fan on your face and then so many things just spams through your mind. Every night.

2011-11-07T21:21:00.002+08:00

I hope she makes you happy and I hope this relationship of yours will last unlike the rest, unlike our past screwed up relationship. You deserve to be happy. I'm happy for you.

So study date with Atiqah Nabihah today and watched 23:59 with her. We are such pussies, constantly closing our face during the movie. Meow.

Bumped into Azmeer on my way back and he is one such perfect combo. Since primary one. Meh. HAHA, he's flying off to Germany soon, I is jelly.

I want to meet new people.

2011-11-06T21:58:00.001+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL ADHA <3